i wanted everything in the world
i wanted to do whatever it took
if i could do anything to bring you back
you have been gone for 4 years now
it'll never get easier on these days

i swore i would honor your last wish
but how did that go?
look at me now
broken but
yet
i'm happier than i used to be

you fucked me up
but one thing i've learned
love
can happen in the darkest of days
but you cannot save people from themselves

i will never honor your last wish
till i figure life out
it haunts me so much
all the shit i've gone through
seems like i haven't learned shit
from you

my life is a giant fucking mess, and i miss you dearly.
and when i reach this mood, i'll be drowning in alcohol and thoughts about
drugs, but i try not to, i try not to.

i still love you, and i am so sorry for being such as fuck up.

dearest person who is reading this;
i hope you're happy or will find happiness some day.
i hope life is treating you well and ain't too tough on you.
have faith, hope, and patience.
everything will fall into place and you will overcome your struggles.
if you haven't heard this yet - you are beautiful and i love you.
don't give up, stay strong for me.

you are loved, special and unique.

"I go through phases. Some days I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then some days I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you still are willing to be near me."  - Mary Kate Teske 

"If there is unhappiness in you, first you need to acknowledge that it is there. But don’t say “I’m unhappy.” Unhappiness has nothing to do with who you are. Say: “There is unhappiness in me.” Then investigate it. A situation you find yourself in may have something to do with it. Action may be required to change the situation or remove yourself from it. If there is nothing you can do, face what is and say, “Well, right now, this is how it is. I can either accept it, or make myself miserable.” The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."  -Eckhart Tolle