i'm so tired of people constantly trying to tell me what to do.
'do this', 'do that' ... no... i want to make my own mistakes.
i want to learn on my own - back the fuck off.
this is my life, not yours.
leave me alone, i know what i'm doing.
i don't need your approval.

Don’t try to sleep through the end of the world
And bury me alive
'Cause I won’t give up without a fight

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
‘Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

We all try to be somebody

But the world around us makes it so cloudy

When we don't trust where we're supposed to

But the blood on the hands says we're not close to the answer, yeah

ahahaha this. so fucking true. 

As I lied there next to you
I realized how much I adore
your face
when you're sleeping
I liked the closeness
And the warmth of your body
and how you didn't mind
when I decided to lie my head
on your chest
and with my hand on your tummy

and now
when you're not next to me
i miss you
i miss your face
the warmth of your body
and cuddling close to you
just to feel safe
and less alone
i had to remind myself
that this moment
would never be relived
you were only mine for the night

you're mine to adore from distance
the worst part is
i can still feel your lips on mine.

I hate theifs. My lovely iPhone got stolen, blergh. fuck you, twat.

i shouldn't even like you this much.
you have more cons than pros
everything 'bout you screams 'get the fuck away'
but i wanna be the one to get close to you
and call my baby
my love; my everything
i want to lie close
and cuddle you
when you feel your walls crashing around you
i want to be the first one
to kiss your lips in the morning
and be the reason why you smile
but i guess
that's not gonna happen

i don't even cross your mind
like you cross mine.

Tell me, I will forget

Show me, I may remember

Involve me,

And I will understand

You're lookng. Almost starring, men there's nothing in front of you - only your reflection. Hm. What went wrong since everything ended like this? You thought that then this happened you'd be able to see your own reflection in the mirror.

Alright. I thought I could stand tall and be me, but the me I found, weren't me. The one I found was almighty, but still.. wretched and weak, but you can't be both. Therefore I decided I'd rather be almighty than wretched and weak. Who wants to spend time with someone who doesn't know their own reflection? I tried to see myself in the mirror, but the only thing I saw was a girl with so much anger. Where did it come from? I figured out that I were so much more happier before I knew my inner feelings. I used to act after the first thought, but now...? I act after the anger inside. I'm not almighty at all. But I wish that you would believe me if I told you... I haven't found myself yet. 

Oh. I'm gonna try again. I sat on my bed, thinking. What if I tried to be.. the complete opposite of who I am? Almighty. Like a lion. 

People liked the new me, but I just became more unhappy. I can't be honest with anyone and tell them then I feel like shit. Now I actually have to show up... happy, when I am not. My mask is better than I thought. I finally thought it was gone, but no. I don't wanna smile. I want to be wrenched and weak, while I fight my inner self. 

I found someone who wanted to help but he wanted to use dirty tricks.. He wanted to take my life and give me a new one. I said no in a heartbeat; why do I need a new life? I only want it, if I become happier. That weren't possible, according to him. But he promised to make me almighty as a lion. He said that I could get both of the lives hitched together, so it'll become more better and stronger, but why would I want that? Life won't become great then. 

Before he went I got my death row sentence; a couple of months. The choice is mine - I can either kill myself and avoid him killing me in the end... or just wait for him to kill me.

I am forced to die. 

Can I please start over again? Then life weren't this complicated?

faith

take a breath and start
over
life might be tough
but
you are gonna make it
through

when you feel alone and
lost
you need to stop and remember
that
i love you
to death
and beyond

i have faith in
you

don't you worry
i will catch you when
you fall.

i am lost for words
to say
and think

i need to pick myself up
recover
rethink
reconsider
i do not know
where i am going

i need to go back
to my old independent self
i lost myself along the way

forgot my morals;
my shame
my hatred grew back
like the weed between the slabs

i will love you
'till i do not have any more love to give
i will kiss your beautiful lips good morning
when i wake up before
your eyes have seen the light
i will drown away
in your blue eyes
i will tease you
cuddle you
hug you tighter for every day that pass
i will always remind you
how much
i love you after
a fight
i will never
ever
let you go

i promise
my love for you is sempiternal.

If you could see me now would you recognize me?
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me?
Would you follow every line on my tear-stained face
Put your hand on a heart that was cold
As the day you were taken away?

The Script - If You Could See Me Now

hi

do you remember how things used to be? simplicity. i swore i would never leave,
but i did. things fell apart. i was scared, afraid, lost and alone.
i try hard to live with my morals who seem to be a backstabbing cunt.
what is life when you cannot look at your own reflection and like what you see?

I can feel it beneath my bones;
The kill
The game has no end
Stop your immature love games;
I am not your slave, no

I once thought that my love
was all you needed
And that your love
was all I ever searched for

All the twisted lies;
Don't you ever get tired
Of telling the same lame lie
Over and over again?

How could you even keep track?
All the girls
Lined up
Only for your own amusement

No, thank you
I'm done.

This war don't determine who's right. This war just determines who's left standing tonight. Stop handing me lights, I can see what you are in the dark just fine. I'm not blind. I'm bending the blinds, peaking through to get a glimpse of your anguishing life

Jeg er vist ved at blive ret dygtig til at droppe ud af ungdomuddannelser, huh?  Jeg bør snart have en medalje, haha. Oh well, hvis denne beslutning træder i kraft, så er jeg flyttet over til en HF efter sommer. Men det er godt, ikke? At jeg prøver at gøre mig selv glad ............ og ligesom gøre det jeg føler for, right? #fabulous.

Don’t act like you’re better than me. We’re both fools lost in this cold world. You might not fall as much as I do, but if I look close enough I can find the scars on your knees I can find the bags under your eyes that carry too much for you to handle.

Fear is the path to the dark side.

Fear leads to anger. 

Anger leads to hate. 

Hate leads to suffering.