sometimes i wonder if you can love someone so much that your love
will never die
and you can pick up the pierces again
over and over again

if that kind of love is possible
a love so deep
that it will never die
somewhat of a fairytale kinda love
''your one and only''
''your true love''

if that kind of love is possible
i want it
i want it badly
but on the other side
not really
because it means that one person can hurt you so badly
that you're never able to love again

you can't just walk into my life like that again
you can't just tell me that you miss me
and tell me that we should try again
i'm finally okay again
you can't just break my heart again
please don't break my heart again
i can't do that again
i'd rather slit my throat and rip my heart out again
before you get the chance of breaking me again
but oh boy
i miss you
i have missed you in the darkest of days
and wished you to be by my side
if you had been by my side through the last two months
you would have stopped me through going hell
and fucking things up

wishful thinking, ain't it?
why can't you just stay the fuck away
so i can't love you
i refuse to love you

today i made my student's cap, and i'm ready to order it, but the annoying part is that my parents have to pay for it, since i can't afford it
this month sucks, i have so much money i need to spend on pointless crap, so i'm gonna lose over half of my money on shit i can't touch right now
it's so fucking frustrating to know that i have to spend so much money and be fucking broke in december.

please go suck my fuck, i'm just gonna slip into coma soon and wake up in january instead

grow up
you're not a child anymore 
the scars on your arms proves the lack of improvement 
grow up 
your days as a child is over 
they ended the day your scars healed 
but your inner child is still fighting a battle
way too hard to win 
your true colors are starting to shine 
you can't keep killing the child in your heart
it won't make you more grown up 
it won't make you an adult
find your inner child again
let the fantasy start to grow again 
grow up with the child inside of your heart 
kill of your demons and listen to yourself instead
you are able to win
believe

grow up 
you whisper to yourself
but
remember the journey
and the scars you've made so far
they might be all healed up
but they are still stopping you from
growing up; growing older
you're drowning yourself 
disabling yourself from growing 
you just have to find yourself again
you lost yourself along the way 
too busy to grow up 
wait it out

My pain is a blessing in disguise
I feel it cutting, and its cutting like a knife
My pain, my pain is a blessing in disguise
I feel it cutting, and its cutting like a knife 

I will face everything and rise
Never gonna quit until I die
Angels keep falling from the sky
I take the broken wings and learn to fly
I will face everything and rise

x